Death Doula Support
Doula means To Serve, they educate, support and provide end-of-life planning.
Doulas are non-medical professionals who provides support and advocacy to people who are dying or ageing.
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It is important you feel comfortable that I am the right fit for your situation.
We have one chance to get this right. A clear plan allows a sense of peace and comfort knowing the discussions have been had. We work together to ensure all the required legal documents and care plans are up to date, which ensures all your wishes are known and fulfilled. This includes pathways if health changes need to be made.
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Death can be a very special and beautiful experience and is a natural process not a medical one. Mainstream medicine is failing at end of life care. We have an aging population and a shortage of doctors and nurses, which is only going to get worse. 90% of people want to die at home but approx. only 20% manage this.
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End of Life (EOL) doulas help people to embrace death as part of life instead of avoiding or ignoring it. Talking openly about death allows us to explore options and doulas can provide this information on possibilities available. Documenting your EOL preferences and funeral/wake planning allows you and your family the security they can provide for your final wishes. I can assist you to process the shock of diagnosis or recurrence of illness and changing capabilities as the illness progresses.
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I provide emotional support, companionship, education, practical care and advocacy organising services. Navigate hospital, healthcare, attend medical meetings and manage delicate family issues. Whether home death, hospital or aged care facility, I bring courage, compassion and connection by being present, not perfect. I hold space and am present to what is true. As the end of life draws closer I can be involved in vigiling, being present, relieving stress and tasks from the family and your loved one and being a support to the family at the time of death and after death care at home or in a facility.
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Bringing your loved one home to die, facilitating home care. Feel safe and supported through fear, anxiety, confusion and uncertainty. I can accompany you and your loved ones through the final months, weeks, days and hours of life, guiding you through this important transition.
Talking to the dying person - a couple of tips:
​What to say - how are you today. Let them talk, listen don’t think. Enquire about what they tell you.
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What not to say - no positive affirmations. Stay with what is true, lies don’t serve anyone. No false complements. Evoke courage. Don’t be a burden to them. Don’t ask them to keep fighting.
Information on the dying process:
When we die the energy within our body doesn’t disappear but transforms.
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The law of conservation of energy- energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed.
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Physical
Activity decreases and more rest and sleep occur, there may be periods of unconsciousness.
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Changes in breathing i.e. irregular, shallow or noisy, gurgling (death rattles). Eventually Cheyne-stokes breathing occurs which is characterised by progressively deeper, and sometimes faster breathing followed by a temporary stop of breathing called apnoea.
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Skin becomes pale, cool and mottled, with a bluish appearance. Lividity- blood pools in the lower parts of the body causing purplish/ red discolouration of the skin.
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Loss of muscle control leading to incontinence of bladder and bowel. There is muscle loss and the skin thins leading to bruising and pressure area sores.
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Interest in eating and drinking decreases and eventually stops.
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The brain can release a surge of chemicals which can heighten a sense of awareness or hyper-reality.
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Confusion and agitation. Disorientation as the brain function declines due to lack of oxygen.
Sensory
Hearing remains intact till the very end and is the last sense to go.
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Vision becomes blurry.
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The ability to feel touch may diminish.
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Withdrawal and Detachment. The dying person becomes less interested in their surroundings.
After Death
Muscles relax and go limp.
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Temperature drops to the surrounding environment.
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Pallor Mortis. Skin pallor due to lack of blood circulation.
Rigor Mortis. Muscles stiffen between 7-12 hrs post death and then gradually reverse.
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